Where "O Where has My Daughter Gone

I have 2 daughters as most of you know! The insane toddler that is actually laying on top of me right now...and my beautiful teenager Megan! Just yesterday she was all over me too! Now, she is gone! Gone into the world of friends, sleepovers, and talking and texting on her phone! I never thought that this would affect me so much. I joked about how I couldn't wait for her to get older so she could take on a bigger role in here day to day life. She fixes her dinner, wakes up by herself in the morning, and goes to the movies with friends! I am happy that she is beginning to find her spot in the world and her own identity but I am lost. I miss her!

She is my firstborn. She was my whole world until number 2 came along (12 years later). She was the one that I cried with so many nights when we moved away from Tennessee. She was the one that called my family a bunch of "assholes" for laughing at her when she was 4 and she didn't sell me out when I asked her where she learned the word! She corrected me when I said "shut up!" She lunged at Chris on our wedding day when he smashed cake in my face because she thought he was hurting me. She led me out of a mall once when I had the worst panic attack of my life. She has been my rock and now she is becoming her own person!

This is another one of those evil little things you do not know when you become a mom. One day your child starts to slip away. This is when you have to try harder. Toddler age is easy compared to this! I want to pull the reigns in tighter and keep her next to me but I guess I have to start letting her go.

I know I am a decent parent. I have to start trusting that I did a good job raising her and that she will make good choices. She is a little moody but nothing horrible. She squabbles a little with us here and there but nothing major. She hangs out with her friends in the neighborhood but never breaks a curfew. She has gone over her texting minutes (over 4,000 in a month!) but she gave us some of her money to help pay it. When I try to buy her clothes she says no because she knows we are on a tight budget! I have to force the girl unless it is something she really wants. So, I think I am ok but.........

She has a boyfriend now. This is a new world that I am not ready for! I am starting to have to figure out how to have conversations that I am not ok with or ready for. I always thought I would have my sister to help me with this. She is a master of these discussions. She has already done it twice! Bu alas, I am alone in this! I am impressed with the boy she has chosen. He is sweet and very polite! The first time they "hung out together" he went to the zoo with our family. This included my parents....my dad! The man that walked every boyfriend past his shotguns. The man who does not speak alot and can level you with his stare. He handled it fabulously! Plus, it was the Friday before Easter and her brought her a stuffed duck! Again, this makes toddler issues look like nothing!

Iguess I just need some help or some inspiration right now. I could not figure out why I was so upset all the time. I realize it is a little piece of me that I feel is slipping away. I don't know the balance and I don't know how to handle this! I am proud of her. She is a good kid but I guess I need to say she is a great young woman! I know it isn't going to happen but I just want her back as a baby for one more day or one more hour. Just one more moment to hold her in my arms and let her fall asleep and have me be her entire world. It is cliche' but I swear I do not know where the time went!

To all my parents of young ones... go home and pick that baby up and don't put them down. Nap with them instead of cleaning. Let them sleep in your bed. You will treasure that memory more than a clean room!

Much Love and Good Thoughts to All Of You!!!

50 Guilty Pleasures- Stolen Idea

A facebook friend made a list of her guilty pleasures on her blog. I thought it was a Fabulous Idea so I borrowed it! "Imitation is the highest form of flattery!"

1. The smell of Hawaiian Tropic Sunscreen
2. Listening to Abby snore
3. Vanilla pudding
4. The smell of honeysuckle
5. Funky colored toe nail polish (turquoise and navy blue!)
6. Yelling while watching a football game! Go Big Orange!
7. Borrowing Megan's clothes :) :)
8. Watching my husband drive a car
9. Tennessee Orange
10. Banana pudding
11. Sweet Tea
12.The feel of clean sheets
13. RUN DMC
14. Halloween
15. Paul Revere by the Beastie Boys
16. Buttermilk Biscuits by Sir Mix A Lot
17. The Wizard of Oz
18. SUNSHINE!!!!
19. Swimming in the ocean
20. Pictures, pictures, lots of pictures
21. Framing Abby and Megan's handmade art projects
22. Bonnie Bell Lipstick
23. Boating with my family- Dolphin watching!
24. TWILIGHT
25. The occasional cocktail: Vodka, water, and lemon
26. A handmade card from a student
27. Writing in my planner using different colored pens
28. Phineus and Ferb
29. My grey Wal-Mart sweatpants that are 10 sizes too big!
30. Curling up in warm clothes still smelling like chlorine after getting out of the pool
31. Staying in pjs and in bed all day
32. A toddler that will curl up in the bed with me all day
33. Naps- Long Ones!!!
34. Ziploc baggies
35. Christmas ornaments
36. My yearly girl's trip with my Gnomies
37. Ice in every drink
38. Funky necklaces
39. The sound of Abby running through the house
40. Organizing the silverware in the dishwasher
41. The Dollar Tree
42. Children's books
43. The Florida Keys!
44. Buying clothes for my girls
45. Wearing skirts
46. Diet Coke
47. Pre-packed beach bags
48. Grocery lists
49. Visiting Malibu, CA
50. TENNESSEE

Let's Take a Bath!

As most of you know, my 2 year old is insane! She does things everyday that just leave me speechless. Luckily, I am always ready with the camera! Last night, Abby did not want to take a bath. I bribed her with the ability to wash her toy alligator! We went to the bathroom and I started to run the water and add the Mr. Bubbles! (oh yeah!) I walked into my bedroom to put on Abby bathtime approved clothing (clothes that can get soaking wet). When I left the bathroom she was putting her toys in the tub. When I returned, she had climbed into the bathtub......Still in her clothes and diaper! All I could do was laugh. She was washing her alligator just like I promised she could do! I was hilarious! I am so glad she is around to give me a good chuckle!

Back to the Blog!

Recently, I have been inspired by many of my friends and family who "blog." I have friends here, good ones, but I am often alone. I have so much to say and most of the time it goes unsaid. Not through anyone's fault but my own. Trust me, I know my opinions and thoughts don't amount to a "hill of beans" but sometimes your words just need to come out. I am going to try and make this spot my outlet to the world. The world I miss so much in Tennessee and the world I try to connect to in Florida. Also, maybe a connection to my husband's world in California. I have many relatives there that I would love to connect to a little more. Living without family around you is tough. I want them involved in my life and the life of my husband and children. So... here it goes! Attempt number 2. We'll see how it goes! :)